Jokes

Please post your jokes here!

Someone told me this one today:

A boy in school was naughty. He was sent to is teacher.
"Learn the first 4 letters of the alphabet, or you get detention."
So he goes home and asks his mum: "What's the first letter of the alphabet?"
His mum says "Shut up!"
He goes to his dad, who is playing darts. "What's the 2nd letter of the alphabet?"
"180!"
He goes to his little sister, who is playing with her Noddy car. "Sis, what's the 3rd letter of the alphabet?"
"In my little brum brum car" she sings.
He goes to his brother (who is watching a superman movie.) "Bro, what's the 4th letter of the alphabet"
" SUPERMAN!"

So he goes back to schoolo on Monday.
His teacher waits. "So..."
"Shut up!" he says.
"How many detentions do you want?!"
"180!"
"How do you think you're going to get away with this?" his teacher shouts.
"In my little brum brum car!" He sings
"Who do you think you are?"
"SUPERMAN!"

hahaha! love it

ROFL!! thats a good one

That's cute. I've never heard that one before, I love it!

it reminds me of this joke:

A man was visiting the US from a different country decided to learn a few english words.

The first place he went to was an opra house. there he learned how to sing "mi, mi, mi"

The next place he went to was a resturaunt. There he learned how to say "forks and knives, forks and knives"

The last place he went to was an electrical company. there he learned how to say "plug it in, plug it in"

On his way back to his hotel room, a cop came walking up to him. There had been a murder earlier that day in the city, and he wanted to ask a few questions.

"Do you know who murdered this person?" the cop asked

"Mi, mi, mi!" the man answered.

"Well then, how did you kill him?"

"Forks and knives, forks and knives!" he replied

"Well, i guess we're going to have to put you in the electric chair," the cop said

"Plug it in, plug it in!"

lol!!!

A boy's brother tries to beat a level an a game.

The boy tries to ask his brother a question.

And his brother yells for him to be quiet.

The boy tries to ask his mom.

She says " im busy!"

The boy tries to ask his dad, but he's busy to.

So he googl'ed, and the Page says to ask his brother.

I thought of that one.

Another version of Dino's joke~

One day for a boy was punished was told to memorize the first 5 letter of the alphabet or else.

So first he went to his sister who was on the phone and asked what the first letter of the alphabet. She said "Shut Up!"

Then he went to his brother who was reading a comic book and asked him what the second letter of the alphabet was. He said "Pooperman!!"

Then he went to his mom who was cleaning the toilet and asked the third letter of the alphabet and she said "Down the Toilet!"

Then he went to his rich friend who was ordering pizza for a party what the fourth letter of the alphabet was. He said "200 please."

Last he went to his dad who was getting a massage and asked him what the fifth letter of the alphabet was. He said "Ahh, Butt Massage!"

The next day the teacher asked him what the first letter of the alphabet was.
"Shut up!"
"YOUR GOING TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE!"

The boy went to principal and principal started asking questions.
"What is your name?"
"Pooperman!"
"Where do you live?"
"Down the toilet!"
"How many spanks do you want?"
"200 please!"
*The principal starts spanking him*
"Ahh, butt massage!"

Another version of Animal Luver's~

One day 4 foreigners came to America to learn english.

The first guy went to a school and learned "Me! Me! Me!"
The second guy went to a restaurant and learned "forks and knives, forks and knives!"
The third guy went to a candy store and learned "Cause he stole my lollipop! Cause he stole my lollipop!"
The last guy went to a merry-go-round and learned "forever and ever and ever!"

The next day there was a murder next door. A police officer came over to ask a couple qeustions.
"Who murdered him?"
"Me! Me! Me!"
"What did you kill him with?"
"Forks and Knives, Forks and knives!"
"Why did you kill him?"
"Cause he stole my lollipop! Cause he stole my lollipop!"
"How long to you want to be in jail?"
"Forever and ever and ever!"

Ha ha!Very funny!!!